10 days.

They say time flies when you are having fun & boy am I having fun. In 10 short very blissfully stressed days I will be marrying the love of my life. Yes I am getting MARRIED.

November 30th 2013 I will be sealed to the Man of my Dreams for all Time and Eternity.

 

This is one of those times in your life that you always dreamed about. From a little girl picking out the pooffiest princess dress, the biggest ring, and the most handsome husband. I got lucky and scored 2 out of 3 of those things. I decided a poofy dress was just not for me.

I am so blessed to have the most wonderful mother who has made my wedding her new baby. She eats sleeps dreams my wedding. Making it the best day of my life. How grateful I am to such a selfless caring woman. She has the same heart as my Grandma.

 

This will  be a day I will never forget.

<3

 

" Grow old along with me, The best is yet to be"

-Robert Browning

365 days without you

53 weeks. 525,948 minutes. 31,556,926 seconds.

This is the amount of time I have spent learning to live without you.

I will never get over your loss.

I will always have a hole in my heart.

You were my best friend

My Mom

My Grandma

My Best Friend

This year has been the worst year of my entire life.

But

It also has been the best year of my life.

Moments I wish I could share with you.

I wont stop missing you.

I pray for you and Alex each and every night.

I hope you are with him and you guys are watching over us.

I am one year closer to being back with you.

I love you Grandma.

They always say the first step is admitting.

I have a huge confession to make...I am addicted to Diet Coke. BUT starting today I am done. I do not want cancer. I do not want diabetes. I do NOT WANT my glow from my skin to go away. I do not want my kidneys to not work. These are all things Diet Coke causes. I have been drinking a glass of cancer almost everyday. I am too embarrassed and ashamed to admit how much Diet Coke I drink a  day so I will keep that a secret. Some days I don't drink any. I use to think I was okay because I also drink almost 80 ounces of water a day. False. I am digging my own grave at 23.

To help jump start my Diet Coke free life, I googled it. I do not recommend doing this will all things. It can be scary, and may cause you to never eat certain foods again (for me I looked up hot dogs once. Bad idea).  This was the first website I found from Well and Good NYC. Now that I know some facts about it I can quit. I am not just quitting Diet Coke, but all sodas in general. Wish me luck. And pray for the headaches to go away ASAP.

 

 

10 days of pure Bliss

Birthdays.Forts.Playing House.Movies.Walks.Shopping.

[CAUTION: This is extremely mushy and gross]

 

The past 10 days have been amazing. I was fortunate enough to spend everyday with my babe. Those of you know that we are currently long distance. So anytime I get to spend with him, I like to give him my undivided attention and make each moment last. I always say when we are together, we are like a "real couple". He does not like this. I think its funny, probably more so because it annoys him.

 

We were able to start out our 10 days by celebrating Michael's 22nd birthday. I could not wait. I started buying him gifts well over a month ago. I loved spoiling him. He deserves every bit of it. The night started off by me showing up in Rexburg. I would not tell him what time I was arriving. I kept teasing him by telling him I was still in Provo, or maybe I was already in Rexburg. Then with the help of his sister Brooke and a few friends, we took him to Texas Roadhouse for dinner. Just to be more fun we put a bandanna on him. No special reason or surprise, just because we could.

 

 

 

Next.

 

After spending the weekend in Rexburg, I returned back home. Michael followed behind me the next day. We were so lucky to spend the next week together. We can honestly say we had way too much time on our hands. Watched almost a full season of The Office, 1,234,242 movies, went out to eat a lot, shopped, and played(abused me), date nights, made brownies, and built forts.

 

 

I had a real taste of what being married feels like. We would make breakfast, lunch and dinner. If I worked he would come and take me out for my break. I was so lucky to come home to him at the end of my day. We would make dinner together (mostly me ha ha), he would help with cleaning up. It was pure bliss. I loved starting my day to him, and ending my night with him.

 

 

 

 

 M is for Miller. Which is my last name, but today its for Missing Michael. Since he left me to go home to Texas for the rest of summer. Lucky for me I fly out to see him in 24 days. Please oh please go by fast.

 

Last but not least, I am so grateful for our date nights to the Temple. It is one of our favorite things to do. Since our first date and every time we are together, we go to the Temple and walk around. This is one of those special things that bonds us closer. Its not physical, its not emotional, its spiritual. It is something we both believe in. I am so grateful for this wonderful man in my life, who I love so dearly.

On our way to the Draper Temple

"...but I found him whom my soul loveth:.." Song of Solomon 3:4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Todays post is going to be a bit harder to write...I think this is due to timing. Next week will be one year ago that my wonderful Grandma passed away, and a birthday for a dear friend. Something I am learning is that as you get older, you are forced to take a look at your friends and relationships. You need to keep those around who support you and help lift you up.

 

Those who help you be the best that you can be.

Those who you can count on no matter what. Those who are the happiest for you, at the happiest moments in your life. Those you can see in 15 years still being a major part of your life. Those who support you

 

....I never wanted to be one of those girls who once she was in a relationship she lost herself. Lost her friends. I try very hard to still be the best friend I can be and make those friendships of mine a priority. But as you get older its harder. I find that sometimes I don't have enough time that week or weeks for my friends. I work two jobs, have a long distance boyfriend, and have countless things to do each day. There is just not enough time in the day. It is even harder when friendships are out of state. You can go weeks without talking or seeing one another, but the best part of friendships like that is that they pick up right where you left off.

We are growing up, starting our own lives. Creating those lives. How is that so hard to understand? But now taking a step back and taking a clear look at my relationships, I find that I have an even greater appreciation for those in my life now. How grateful I am for their patience and understanding. How grateful I am for the fact that they stick around. How grateful I am that they know that I am in the stage in my life, where my next chapter is getting married to the man I love. How grateful I am that they don't make me pick sides. How grateful I am that they love me enough to just let me be.

I just want to yell at you, and scream at you for being so selfish. I just want you to see what you said to me. You literally told me to pick another date for my wedding [ which there is NO DATE SET] or a [Proposal]. That's not a healthy friendship. Its a toxic one. But no matter how mad I am, I will always be grateful for the years we had, for all the times you were there for me. For all the times you had my back. For all of our funny memories. For all those all-nighters we pulled in college. I meant what I said when I wish you the best. We are just starting new chapters in our lives. This is apart of growing up.

Missing in Love....maybe action?

Where on earth have I been? Not blogging about my life and super sweet travel adventures, that is where. But instead I have been falling in love with the most amazing man I have ever met. My sweet Michael. I don't even know where to start about how blessed and grateful I am to have him.

How it all began.....

PART 1
It was the weekend March 30th and I was working at Chili's like normal. One of my very best friends from high school was in town from Rexburg for the holiday weekend (Easter). He came in to see me with a few of his roommates and friends from BYU Idaho.
.....PAUSE. A few hours, maybe a day before this I knew Bradyn was in town and had that night off from work, but instead of going and hanging out with him and his friends I decided to work. Plus I had plans that night with another guy.
.....PLAY. Bradyn and several very attractive guys walk into Chili's to my section. This was the night my life changed forever. There was Michael, and at the time he doesn't remember this but he introduced himself as Mike. I helped set up a table for all these boys with free drinks and chips. I sat there talking to all of them and thinking "had I known good looking boys like this go to BYUI, I would have finished my application 4 years ago". I remember looking across the table and staring at Michael, watching him watching me. Hanging on every word I said. I couldn't help but stare at him. He even moved seats to leave me an open one to sit next to him. I had to politely decline, only because I needed to watch the restaurant and for my manager. Sitting on the job is not permitted ;).

The very next day, Michael added me on Facebook and messaged me thanking me for the drinks and chips. Such a sweetheart. We continued to talk everyday for the next few until he finally asked me for my number (LONGEST 3 days of my life). We couldn't stop talking, after this. Everyday.

Little by little, all the other boys I was talking too started to fade from my life. My feelings for Michael began to grow. The more I learned about this guy, the more I liked him. I was so comfortable with him. It felt so natural. There were a few times he came back into town and meeting up did not work...so after the 4th attempt to meet again in person failed, we decided to take the next step in this new forming relationship and Skype and or Facetime. Let the late nights begin....

 

 

May 10th 2013





Our First date

After the longest month and a half of my life, Michael came down to Provo for the weekend. What an eventful weekend, and scary. I wasn't sure how anything would turn out. The first date had to go well for the rest of our weekend to continue. Or for any future plans to be "planned".

 

What an amazing first date..Remember this is the first time I had seen him since the weekend in March. I was so nervous to see him, as was he. When I heard that knock on the door I ABOUT had a heart attack. Michael showed up at my door with my favorite flowers, Tulips. He looked so handsome with his plaid button up and Sperry's. His hair was a lot more auburn "red" then I remembered. It made me laugh. My first date with a ginger. A very handsome ginger I might add. He took me to dinner at Olive Garden, followed by a fun night at the Nickel City , a walk around the Provo Temple and a movie at my house. It was definitely one of those marathon dates.

This was the same night that he kissed me. I NEVER EVER kiss on the first date, well that's not true. I never kiss on the first date if I find myself interested in the person. But for him, it was worth it.

 

Since the first date went well, the weekend continued. I woke up to Michael making me breakfast in my kitchen. SO sweet. This followed by us going to City Creek, shopping, walking around the Temple and lunch.

 

Time was flying and I wanted to be with him every moment. That evening we decided to drive up the canyon and go lay out under the sun in the park. We talked for hours and hours, napped, kissed, and cuddled. I couldn't have been happier. This is when My Life Really Changed.

 

Michael: " Erica what would your Grandma say about us"

Erica: " That she was happy for me and happy for us"

Michael: "Erica if we are going to date then I think you need to change your cover photo on Facebook." (HAHA my cover page said "Im not a princess I am a queen, I got this sh** handled")

Erica: " Michael what does that mean, if we are going to date?"

Michael: " Erica I don't want to rush you or us but will you be my girlfriend?"

Erica: "Michael, when you don't feel rushed and you feel as if there had been enough time and are ready for this, I want you to ask me that question again"

...

...

...

...

LONGEST 5 minutes of my life

...

Michael: "Erica Elizabeth Miller, will you be my girlfriend"

Erica: "YES!"

 

On May 11th 2013 I made the best decision of my life by saying yes to my best friend. I hope to continue to say yes to this amazing man that came into my life. I cant imagine life without him, and cant wait to see what the future holds for us.

 

 

 

 

 

Bahama Mamas

Did I ever mention how I travel for a living? I wish someone would pay me to do this, but for now I will rely on my two jobs. They treat me pretty well.

For my newest adventure I went to the Bahamas with two of my best friends, and a couple of boys. It was a spur of the moment trip. The idea was brought to the table less then two months ago, and within 24 hours tickets had been bought. We decided to be risk takers and go on Carnivals Cruise line for a 4 day cruise. We knew the reputation Carnival has been having the past year, but they have never let me down. This was my second cruise with them in 6 months. Plus I am young and adventurous. What is the worst that can happen? Oh I know, a sunburn that stings with every move you make. But that was my fault. I think the sun is brighter and stronger in the Bahamas.

We were pretty non adventurous this cruise. We laid out, drank virgin drinks and diet coke with lime. It was definitely a relaxing vacation. Sometimes you need to sit back and enjoy the view.

Freeport, Bahamas was the first stop. I was not very impressed. My expectations were a bit unrealistic, or my geographical picture of a tropical island was off a bit. It was not very clean, and the ocean was not as blue. I had this tropical getaway implanted in my head. I think I was expecting the Caribbean or Costa Rica (two places I have never been. YET). Regardless of our surroundings a good time was had.

Next stop was Nassau. Absolutely breathtaking. Crystal blue waters, white sand. We went and played at the beach next door to Atlantis. The waves were huge, and breaking right at the shore. You had to be careful because they were knocking people down. Some may have even received a few show from me.

Other then the beautiful beach, the sun, and friends, a great time was had. On the ship, we wined and dined, danced, and even gambled. So until next time, I will be working to save up for my next big trip. Like the locals said "Ya Mon".

 

How time flys

6 months ago to the day, I lost someone very special to me. My younger brother Alex. It was very sudden and unexpected. My family had already suffered a great loss when my Grandmother (who raised me) passed away a few short months before. I can honestly say this has been the hardest and most tragic thing to happen in my life. Sometimes it doesn't seem real.

Alex was 20 years old. He had barely started life. He had so much to live for. It still breaks my heart. But our Heavenly Father must have had greater plans for him. I have to remind myself of that. But with each day, it does get easier. I have had to learn to live life without two of my favorite people.

Alex was so funny and witty. He was also stubborn and a pain. He loved reading and studying up on old Presidents and all the conspiracy theories. He was also amazing at rapping and creating raps. I was always so envious of these talents. Whatever he wanted to do or learn, he would. Alex was just the light in our families eyes. He is actually an Identical twin. That is our saving Grace, he may not be here, but his twin is. We still get to see him every time we look at his brother Andrew. But it is also bittersweet.

With all this loss, it makes me appreciate life and those in my life so much more. You never know when someone you love can be taken from you. I never want to go a day without the people I love knowing how much I care and appreciate them. I know without a doubt that Alex knew. He was my best friend. I made him a promise to never let a day go bye where I don't think of him. I intend to keep that promise till the day I am reunited with him in Heaven.

I promise Buddy.

Boys Boys and more Boys

Living in Provo comes with a lot of stereo types and pressure. One being, that I should be married with five kids already. Or that I should be looking for my eternal companion. The pressure has never gotten to me, until I turned 23. I officially feel like an old maid.

I have a great social and dating life. If I am lucky I might have one night a week to myself. I enjoy and treasure those nights alone. I am very independent and self sufficient. I do not have to be around people constantly. I need my own space to think and clear my mind. I have never been one of those girls who needs a man. I don't even know how to be someone's girl friend. Is there a "How to Book"? Really what I need is a " How to find a guy, and keep him but still be your own woman" book. If you know of any please tell me.

With this new year, I made a lot of goals. I want to be a better person than I was last year. One of my goals was to stop leading guys on, and being honest. I am really good at getting scared off, and I do the avoid texts and pick up more shifts at work, so I can avoid hanging out. It is my M O. I have mastered it. But how unfair an cruel was it of me to do this to boys. All I needed to do was be honest. Like my favorite person says "I am not living till I am being completely honest"- Fat Amy

Being honest sucks. SUCKS. SUCKS. SUCKS. Who ever said being honest will set you free, forgot to mention how you end up the bad guy and feeling like a jerk. I never felt like a jerk when I avoided and dove into work or "lost my phone".

I have had to tell the same boy that I do not want to date him for the millionth time. Each time gets worse. In two years, my feelings have not changed. He knows that I was dating someone else, or into another guy. But yet he continues to try. I admire his persistence but he is wasting his time. I am not in a place in my life where I want a boyfriend. I am not ready for the commitment. I enjoy dating lots of boys, and seeing the world. I have so many things I want to do. He just doesn't seem to understand. So at the end of the day, I am the bad guy.

I travel for a living

Just kidding. But seriously. While trying to figure out what I have been wanting to do for the rest of my life, I have been traveling the world. I have been extremely fortunate to have had such amazing jobs that allow me to take off as much time necessary to spread my wings and see the world.

My parents are homebodies. They could care less if they ever left the state of Arizona. I should be a little more generous, my mom is from Montana and my Dad is from Indiana. They have traveled a bit. But not much. My Dad is one of those guys who will tell you a story and nonchalantly mention how he has been here or there. Like the time he told me he is a licensed scuba diver, and has been scuba diving in Hawaii. When did he go there? How? I am 23  years old and don't remember him taking a trip other then to Indiana or Illinois. I think he went to Florida once. Sneaky sneaky.

 Back to me...I dated a guy for almost 2 years off and on, we shall call me Zack. He always told me I was too much of a dreamer. All I have ever wanted to do was see the world. See where my family came from. After we broke up, I wanted to "show him" how my dreams could come true. I did everything to prove him wrong. I picked up and left AZ to Utah. My first real trip was when I spontaneously went to New York City. I fell in love. I am a city girl. I love fashion and I love different cultures. A month later I found myself in Orlando Florida. Visited a few other major cities. Experienced the real clubbing life in South Beach Miami. What a party. All I need is a rich older man and I am set for that life.

5 months later I was flying with my Mom and Aunt to Greece and Turkey for a one month long family history trip. I was so lucky to have been able to do one day in Rome. For the next month I was able to see where my Great Grandparents were from. What a joy that was. I also met my cousins and other aunts. I have an amazing crazy big Greek family. I was very familiar with all the food and traditions because my family made it very important to continue here in the states.

I couldn't stop there. I went to live in Florida for a month. Returned to New York. Stopped in Washington DC, then headed South of the boarder to Mexico. I am just getting started. I have two more weeks till I set sail with my 3 best friends. First stop, the Bahamas.

New York > Florida > Italy> Greece > Turkey > Florida > New York > DC > Cabo San Lucas > Puerta Vallarta >

I live each day like its my last. This world has so much to offer, and so much to see. I will be damned if I don't get to experience it all.

Wearing my heart on my sleeve

Somehow in the last 15 years I have developed this amazing skill. It is almost like a magic trick. I am able set aside any of my life problems, and put any emotions other then the feeling of happy away in a box. Never to deal with it again. Some would say this is a problem and one day I am going to explode.

That day was near. I finally am learning how to feel. Learning to breath. Learning that I am allowed to have a bad day. That being happy 24 hours a day 7 days a week, is just not possible. Or even healthy. To feel and allowing myself to open up, means accepting the bad and the good. This has been one of the hardest trials in my life. I am not use to so much emotion. I have my moments where I miss my old robot self. It was nice for all those years. But now I want to live.....live for the moments of happiness and joy. I want to feel.

 

 

My first post

This is the part where I am suppose to tell you who I am & where I am going...but what if I still am not sure...

I have always thought it was a bunch of nonsense when people would say that they need to "find themselves". I found it to be an excuse, a cop out. Here I am 23 years old, & just realizing I don't know who I am. How often do people wake up, look in the mirror & think,

"how on Earth did I get here?".  For me this has happened twice.

Two years ago I picked up my life in Arizona & headed to the promised land. Also known as Provo Utah. Here I am waking up and once again not recognizing who I am. I like to run. Run from my problems. I am not sure where this fun character flaw of mine began, but I am determined to change it. Your problems don't seem to disappear just because you left them behind in another state. I am ready to start my journey of seeking who I am & what will make me happy. This life is too short not to be happy. I can finally see that light at the end of the tunnel.