Todays post is going to be a bit harder to write...I think this is due to timing. Next week will be one year ago that my wonderful Grandma passed away, and a birthday for a dear friend. Something I am learning is that as you get older, you are forced to take a look at your friends and relationships. You need to keep those around who support you and help lift you up.

 

Those who help you be the best that you can be.

Those who you can count on no matter what. Those who are the happiest for you, at the happiest moments in your life. Those you can see in 15 years still being a major part of your life. Those who support you

 

....I never wanted to be one of those girls who once she was in a relationship she lost herself. Lost her friends. I try very hard to still be the best friend I can be and make those friendships of mine a priority. But as you get older its harder. I find that sometimes I don't have enough time that week or weeks for my friends. I work two jobs, have a long distance boyfriend, and have countless things to do each day. There is just not enough time in the day. It is even harder when friendships are out of state. You can go weeks without talking or seeing one another, but the best part of friendships like that is that they pick up right where you left off.

We are growing up, starting our own lives. Creating those lives. How is that so hard to understand? But now taking a step back and taking a clear look at my relationships, I find that I have an even greater appreciation for those in my life now. How grateful I am for their patience and understanding. How grateful I am for the fact that they stick around. How grateful I am that they know that I am in the stage in my life, where my next chapter is getting married to the man I love. How grateful I am that they don't make me pick sides. How grateful I am that they love me enough to just let me be.

I just want to yell at you, and scream at you for being so selfish. I just want you to see what you said to me. You literally told me to pick another date for my wedding [ which there is NO DATE SET] or a [Proposal]. That's not a healthy friendship. Its a toxic one. But no matter how mad I am, I will always be grateful for the years we had, for all the times you were there for me. For all the times you had my back. For all of our funny memories. For all those all-nighters we pulled in college. I meant what I said when I wish you the best. We are just starting new chapters in our lives. This is apart of growing up.